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power- the mission of your great Master. To do so, you must have a
coadjutor: not a brother- that is a loose tie- but a husband. I,
too, do not want a sister: a sister might any day be taken from me.
I want a wife: the sole helpmeet I can influence efficiently in
life, and retain absolutely till death.'
I shuddered as he spoke: I felt his influence in my marrow- his
hold on my limbs.
'Seek one elsewhere than in me, St. John: seek one fitted to you.'
'One fitted to my purpose, you mean- fitted to my vocation. Again I
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tell you it is not the insignificant private individual- the mere man,
with the man's selfish senses- I wish to mate: it is the missionary.'
'And I will give the missionary my energies- it is all he wants-
but not myself: that would be only adding the husk and shell to the
kernel. For them he has no use: I retain them.'
'You cannot- you ought not. Do you think God will be satisfied with
half an oblation? Will He accept a mutilated sacrifice? It is the
cause of God I advocate: it is under His standard I enlist you. I
cannot accept on His behalf a divided allegiance: it must be entire.'
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